Rich Moran
Deals I Would Like to See
Published by Rich Moran on Tagged UncategorizedEvery venture capitalist reviews and discusses any number of “deals” every day. Some are glimmers of greatness and are worthy of objective consideration. Others are not so worthy but still deserve thoughtful consideration. The following is a top-of-mind list of deals I would like to see but have not yet.
Converter Kits: Oil prices, gas prices, carbon footprints – it all adds up and I believe it. The deal I would most like to see is a kit that would convert any gas engine to a hybrid. I am not talking about ripping the car apart and installing batteries and flux capacitors. I am thinking more along the lines of a device similar to the after-market cassette players that we would attach to the car radio and bolt under the dash board. Once installed, gas mileage would go from sixteen to forty without ever opening the hood. This kit could do for cars what electricity did for houses. The world would be a better place and everyone would win.
Cell Phone Sensors: It is not a rare occurrence these days to go into a public restroom and hear someone yammering on their cell phone while sitting in a stall. I always wonder who that person is talking to and does the person on the other end of the call know what is happening. I suspect not. I would like to have a sensor and an alarm on my phone that restricts anyone from calling me while they are in a bathroom or other inappropriate place to be chatting nonchalantly about digital media.
Invisible Cubicle Screens: We all know about those magical fences that no one can see but prevent out dogs from running out on the highway. Although I have not discussed this with our dog, I believe they work. I just about never see a poor dog on the side of the road these days. I would like to see a deal of an invisible fence that separates cubicles at the office. It would prevent your co-workers from leaning over the little barriers that separate cubicles to ask if you want to participate in the basketball pool.
News Converters: This deal would fall into the digital media space. Since the evening news is almost always bad, I would like to see a deal that would present a positive side to all news. Instead of “A big flood hit the Midwest this week.” The news would proclaim, “Looks like that drought is over in the Midwest.”
Special Stopwatches: Like that old segment of the “Twilight Zone”, I would like to see a stop watch that stopped the world long enough for me to catch up. While everyone else was “frozen” I could go about my business and no one would be the wiser. When I restarted time with the stop watch I would be all caught up. I would be careful not to drop it.
User Generated Video: Wouldn’t it be great if there was a web site where videos could be posted and shared. It could be like America’s Funniest Home Videos on steroids. We could look at cats on shower curtains and guys pretending they were in Star Wars for long periods of time. Oh, wait.
I’ve joked about deals I would like to see before only to have them show up shortly thereafter. Bring them on.
Why Bear Stearns is a Good Thing or, In Search of the New Poster Child
Published by Rich Moran on Tagged UncategorizedEnron became the poster child company for corporate greed, avarice and somebody asleep at the switch. Arthur Andersen became the poster child for auditors helping them. The NYSE became the poster child for big payouts to retiring executives (with many more companies to follow.) Eliot Spitzer is the current model for exercising bad judgment, marital headaches and poorly executed interstate commerce, among many other things.
Bear Stearns is about to become the new poster child of behavior gone-bad in full view, like videos of college students on Spring Break. But what will they become the poster child for? Will it be for financial statements so complicated no one knows how much they are worth? Will it be for a market cap less than the worth of one of their buildings? Will it be for the mortgage foreclosures that have a root somewhere, so why not there? Will it be for government bailouts for people who make a lot of money? Stay tuned for the poster as it emerges. In the meantime, there are at least two good things that will come out of the Bear Stearns meltdown.
1. Dread Removal - I know a lot of people in the high powered financial world who have said something like the following. “My job sucks but I am only going to do this until I am thirty five (could be forty but that is a stretch) because the money is so awesome. Then, I will do something that I really want to.” (Although undetermined.)
For all of those working in jobs that make you miserable but the pay is good, you now have the license to think differently. Bear Stearns has given you that license. If you are not doing what you want, don’t wait to do something else.
2. Real Career Awareness – I doubt anyone at Bear Stearns could have ever imagined that this prestigious, old firm could be in trouble and jobs would be lost. If it can happen there, think about where you are and whether it could happen to you too. Don’t lose sleep over it, just set your expectations. People ask me all the time if they should worry about their job. The answer is always yes. Bear Stearns and Arthur Andersen and Enron taught us that.
The real lesson from Bear Stearns is that all organizations are fragile. If it can happen in large, long established, prestigious places, it can happen just about anywhere.
Let’s make Bear Stearns the poster child that reminds us of the fragility of all organizations.
All Mistakes to Avoid Should Have Been Learned in High School
Published by Rich Moran on Tagged UncategorizedAll lessons of behavior should have been learned early because they all happened in high school - that harsh reality that divides childhood from the rest of life. Foremost among those lessons is: You will always get caught.
- Cut gym class? You will get caught by the Principal looking out the window.
- Cheat on an exam? You will copy from the wrong source.
- Siphon some of Dad’s liquor out of the bottles and put in that soda bottle? He keeps track of the liquid levels in the bottle.
- Sneak in after curfew? Mom will be at the front door.
- Buy some hallucinogenic substance or paraphernalia? The police will have their crack down on that very day and you will be arrested.
- Have a house party while Mom and Dad are out of town? The party will get out of hand and the police will be called or the house will burn down.
- Create a fake id? The bouncer will call your Mom.
- Plagiarize on that Catcher in the Rye paper? The teacher uses the same source for research.
- Show up at the school dance a little tipsy? You will be randomly chosen for the breathalyzer.
- Cheat on your boyfriend or girlfriend? You will bump into that one person who will tell the entire world.
This is a long list but the outcome is always the same. As each of my own children entered their teenage years I reminded them of the basic truth – You will always get caught. Each has eventually found out on their own every time they were caught. That lesson from high school is -If you do a bad thing, you will get caught so be prepared to pay the consequences or better yet, don’t do the bad thing. Most of us learn that the latter strategy is more comfortable in the long run.
All of these lessons apply also to the world of work and the cubicles in which we toil. Falsify the hours on your timesheet? You will get caught. Steal office supplies? You will get caught. Harass one of your fellow workers? You will be caught. Cheat on your expense report? You will get caught. Tell a racist or sexist joke that you think no one can hear? You will get caught. Getting caught in the workforce is the equivalent of getting fired. In fact, it is not the equivalent, you will get fired. So don’t do it. You will get caught.
As I think about it, there are some other lessons that we learn from the world of teenagers and high school… Always let someone know where you are – someone is always looking for you.Leaving a message doesn’t equal permission – calling to say the project is not working doesn’t make it right.Be home when you say you will – always trueKnow what is absolutely non-negotiable, like hookers and give me the car keys.If you’re in big trouble don’t negotiate – just take the punishment.
Okay, all you high school students and newbies to the work force, I hope you listened. Eliot, I should have written this a while ago for you. Sorry.
Work Resolutions You Can Keep
Published by Rich Moran on Tagged UncategorizedA Primer in removing misery and being more productive in 2008
By now you are Off the Diet and Drinking Again – Here’s the new way to lose weight through work resolutions
Some of the resolutions you made on New Year’s Eve may be a distant memory by now, the middle of January. Sure you bought Quicken to get your finances organized for the year but I would bet the shrink wrap is still on the box. Those new $120.00 workout shoes still look a little too clean. Even though you vowed that zero drops of alcohol would touch your lips in January, you couldn’t help it when they were serving Silver Oak Cabernet at that business dinner. And, since the seal was broken, just a glass or two a night won’t hurt, will it?
If I could look in that planner or secret journal where you wrote those resolutions, I would wager that there is some permutation of all or some of the following promises to yourself:
o Lose weight
o Work out more
o Spend less time on the computer/blackberry
o Get personal finances in order
o Don’t over-commit or over-book
It’s not too late. All is not lost, there are plenty of resolutions you can still make and keep that cover some of the basics of your life. These resolutions are best kept to yourself and, although, they are only a few, will change your life.
Resolution One
I will stop eating in my car.
If there is a stack of empty Starbucks cups behind the passenger seat of your car, you are in trouble. Think of how many times you cursed out loud because the burrito you were eating in your car got all over your shirt. Plus, when you get to those meetings after eating in your car, your potential customers can’t help but notice the ketchup stains on your fingers from opening those little ornery packages. Not to mention eating in your car makes you gain weight because of what you eat in your car. Even though you might not get caught eating that Whopper and fries while going 65 MPH, it will show up in your back side.
Following this one resolution will help you lose weight, look better when you get there and keep your car cleaner. It is safer too since you are not chatting on driving while talking on your cell phone, drinking a latte and eating a scone.
Resolution Two
I will avoid technology addictions and recognize that my Blackberry (or other PDA) is similar to crack cocaine.
If your thumbs are getting bigger than your big toes, you are addicted. If you sneak out into the hallway at 2 am while on family vacations to check your email, you are addicted. Not only are your thumbs getting ruined, your life is going down the technology 24×7 drain. Re-think your life and how you manage your “in-box” and how you use your PDA. Avoid PDA addictions.
Following this resolution will help you lose weight because you can spend more time on finding healthy food instead of worrying about what you are missing. Your cell phone addiction may be too far gone already. If you regularly answer your cell phone while you are in the bathroom, it is too late for you. We will work on that addiction next year.
Resolution Three
I will travel only if absolutely necessary and only to good places.
“Road Warrior” is not necessarily a good title or one that makes you a hero. The one with the most frequent flyer miles is not the winner. Plus, it is becoming increasingly expensive as airport security continues to take away that 5 oz. tube of toothpaste and tells you that only 3 oz. tubes are allowed but it doesn’t come in 3 oz. tubes. Traveling is difficult and will age you before your time. There are other tools to use and you will find that the only people that care that you stopped traveling are at the airline. If you do travel, resolve to see a friend while you are there. Following this resolution will help you lose weight because you won’t be eating Gummi Bears at the airport.
Resolution Four
I will improve my communications skills
-PowerPoint is a presentation tool, not a language. It is possible to have a meeting or conversation without speaking in bullets. AVOID DEATH BY POWERPOINT.
-Email is one of the most efficient and effective communications tools of all time. It is not necessarily a management tool. BE A MANAGER, NOT AT E-MAILER.
-Conference calls are a way to keep you off airplanes and are not the time to allow people to work on their emails. LEARN HOW TO CONDUCT CONFERENCE CALLS THAT PEOPLE WANT TO JOIN.
-Meetings can transform from a habit into a vice and often occur only because they are scheduled. Meetings can get in the way of meeting goals. TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT THE EFFECTIVENESS OF MEETINGS.
*Even if there are twenty people sitting around a meeting, the one person that calls into a meeting can be the most disruptive. CALL-IN TO MEETINGS ONLY WHEN NECESSARY.
*Everyone is scheduled too tight and can go into a stress spiral when always late. Meetings are a big culprit of schedule stress. END MEETINGS WHEN YOU SAY YOU WILL.
Improving your communications skills might allow you to lose weight because you will be less stressed and less likely to eat that doughnut.
Resolution Five
I will stop saying the word “whatever”.
Saying “whatever” means you are not making decisions. Make decisions, large and small, and live with them. It is possible to go to soccer games and be on a conference call at the same time and be a good manager and a good parent. It is not “whatever”. You made the decision that the mute button is your best friend. It is easy to spend days just saying “whatever” and draining email and voicemail and a sitting in on a constant stream of conference calls. That’s probably not what you are supposed to do. Resolve to be more productive and stop “whatevering”. Eliminating “whatever” will help you lose weight because you won’t say, “Quarter Pounder? Dunkin Doughnuts? OK, both. Whatever!”
There are ruts, habits and routines that are too easily carried from one year to the next. We all want something to look forward to in the new year so get out of the ruts and try one risky new thing like ball room dancing or an adventure vacation Every year goes by fast and the unfulfilled resolutions fly by. Make choices to follow these resolutions and rejoice in them. You will be much thinner when you start next year.
That’s What I Like
Published by Rich Moran on Tagged UncategorizedAfter all these years in wine country I was finally invited to a blind wine tasting.
It was a simple exercise, I was in a group and five different glasses of pinot noir were put in front of us. We had to determine where each glass was from, not whether or not we liked the wine. That’s when the fun began because none of us liked any of the wine. In fact, it was awful. All of us were spitting like crazy and all of us admitted we were not spitters.
As the wine expert and group leader tried to facilitate the discussion he asked what special flavors and senses we tasted. One of my colleagues said he detected a hint of a burnt buttered popcorn jelly belly. There was a murmur of agreement because we all know how that one jelly belly can ruin the entire batch that’s popped in the mouth. Another of the tasting group thought he felt the gestalt of World War II in one of the wines. The sentiment was not based on strolling through the French countryside.
We weren’t quite done. Another taster talked about those big bins of just picked grapes that we see spilled on the side of the road this time of year as catching the romance of one of the wines. Yet another said the wine conjured up images of making out in front of the Chi Omega house in the front seat of a Camaro. We weren’t sure if that was good or bad.
When the results were given, none of us guessed correctly on the source of the pinot, not even the right continent. Turns out, the wine we tasted was reasonably expensive and well known but the price and brand had no bearing on whether or not we liked it better.
It didn’t take long to find some wine that we did like and that’s when the questions and discussion really started. The big questions were related: Are we such a bunch of goofs that we can’t tell a cabernet from a Chevrolet? And, related to that, are there really people who can identify the square mile in France that a wine comes from without so much as a hint? We agreed the answer was probably that everyone’s palate knows what it likes and that some have a palate that is beyond belief. With resolve, we promised to bridge the gap and reconvene sometime later when our palates grew larger.
Like most of us, I stand in awe when someone can identify graphite, wet stone or white truffle in a glass of wine. Then there is forest floor, quince, hawthorn and cigar box that others can find. That can’t be a big number of people who can taste all of those nuances. I think my palate stopped developing just a little beyond, “tastes good to me.”
Someone recently asked me, “How does one start to build a proper wine cellar?” My response was, collect what you like and learn from others. The “others” are those that really can taste white fleshy peach as well as those who know what they like and what they don’t.
Living in wine country is the perfect Petri dish for tasting and going to a blind tasting might be the ultimate litmus test of what one likes. A blind tasting is a test unencumbered by the price or the label which is still, I think, the criteria on which most people buy wine. My favorite local events are ones where real wine guys bring bottles along with no label, or at best, a yellow sticky on the side and a date scribbled on the cork. Wine making is truly an art. Wine tasting is a way to exercise your palate and your imagination. It’s good to be around artists and imaginative people.
Rich Moran owns a winery and writes for wine country newspapers.
Success at Holiday Parties
Published by Rich Moran on Tagged UncategorizedA Primer
At the last really huge corporate Holiday Party I attended, a young woman who reported to me jumped up on stage just as the beginning drum beats to the classic “Love Shack” were filling the hall. The crowd went wild that someone would be so brave. I leaned over to my wife and mentioned with apprehension, “I hope this doesn’t go on her permanent record, or mine”. This was not the party at Fox TV or Vanity Fair or some hip record label. It was the big consulting firm Accenture, not known for its singers.
Although a little tipsy, turns out that girl could sing and dance and sing and dance she did. She knew all the words to “Love Shack” even down to that phrase yelled in the middle that many the drunken undergraduate has tried to figure out. I think it is “Tin Roof, Busted!” but I could be wrong on that. It was the highlight of the night at the party and turns out it did end up on her permanent record. She was no longer an anonymous analyst. Now everyone knew her name and she was sought for projects. The thinking might have been, anyone with that much moxie should be able to sell something.
See, Holiday Parties are not always the career killers they are reputed to be. There can be an upside, however rare. Since that Love Shack incident, my own parties have grown dull. Holiday parties are not as wild as they used to be but they are still fraught with stress about whether or not to go, with whom and what to wear, among other critical decisions. Given the time of year and given the fact that most of us do go to that party with optimism, here are some pointers to get the most out of that party.
- Go. Yes, always go. Come, on. You have to go. Your co-workers want to see who you are dating or married to and what you think “festive holiday attire” is.
- Don’t get drunk at the company holiday party. Repeat, don’t get drunk.*
*No matter how many times I have presented this advice, it is universally ignored. So I suggest adhering to the following advice assuming you will end up in that mind altered state…
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- Always have someone with you who will remember what you said at the Holiday Party so that you can make appropriate apologies when necessary.
- Under all circumstances, when tipsy, stay away from your bosses spouse. You don’t want said spouse to ask later, “Who was that totally smashed person who said you were the besht bosh he ever had?”
- Take a taxi home. Embarrassing yourself can be forgiven, being reckless cannot.
- If you are the boss, give your toast and speech of thanks early. Before the audience or you have had too much to drink.
- Stay away from any one with a video camera. You may think you are a good dancer but you might show up on YouTube next to the classic of Elaine from Seinfeld dancing at that party.
- For that same YouTube reason, don’t wear any fancy clothes that can fall off and reveal something that might show up on an ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend web site.
- Never sit with the company lawyers. They are never any fun at these events since they are focused on the liabilities of everything that is happening around them.
- If the company is coming to the end of a really bad year, cut the management some slack for goldfish and beer instead of steak and wine. At least they are trying.
- Do not sneak out into the hall to check your blackberry or PDA. Leave all blackberries and any thing that seems like work at home.
- Remember that there will be no secrets. Anything that happens at the holiday party, does not stay at the holiday party. Whether it involves sex, drugs, facebook pages, rock and roll, annual reviews, wearing lampshades or obese dates; it will be on the web and message boards and other places on Monday.
Lastly, have fun. It is a time to get to know your co-workers in ways never imagined in cube land. It is a time for your date to see who you have praised or complained about all year. It is a time to relax and say, “I made it here for another year.” Congratulations.
The 2007 at Work Holiday Gift Guide
Published by Rich Moran on Tagged Uncategorized10 Simple Rules
It’s time for that annual set of nagging questions about holiday gifts at work…
If I give my boss a gift, will he or she think I am brown-nosing? How much should I spend? Should I leave the gift on the chair at night or ask the boss out for a holiday drink? Will my co-workers give a gift to me? What if they give me deodorant or foot powder? Should I wait to give any gifts until I am sure I am getting some gifts? Are the people who work for me expecting a gift more than a performance review? What is The Company policy on gifts? Should I ignore it? What if I give a gift to my boss but no gift comes from that direction? The list could go on and on.
Gift-giving during the holidays is hard enough when it is just for the family. When co-workers are added to the list it only adds to the complexity. I know some teenage boys who break up with their girlfriends every year in early December just to avoid the panic of having to buy a Christmas gift. Don’t quit your job just to avoid holiday giving at work.
In the spirit of taking some stress out of the holidays, the following ten simple bullets are sent your way.
· Companies will rarely execute a lay-off during the holidays. If you think your job will be eliminated in January, make it easy and don’t bother with gifts. The gift exception could be the consultant who is doing the plan on who stays and who goes.
· A lot of people today work in a virtual environment which means they don’t know or see co-workers or the boss. Virtual friends should be sent a virtual gift.
· Sending an email or text message doesn’t count as a gift.
· Be generous in giving. If your boss cut you breaks during the year or your team worked their butts off, get them something that reflects your appreciation. Take the risk and let people know you appreciated something. It matters.
· The list of acceptable gifts is short. The list includes books, candy, wine (usually), restaurant gift certificates and tasteful office items like expensive pens or notebooks.
· The list of unacceptable items is long. Don’t give shoes, jewelry or tire chains. Any gift with Victoria Secret in the name is probably not good. Anything personal is not good unless your spouse works with you.
· Among subordinates, include everyone and give everyone the same gift, even that guy in the next cube who talks to his mother all day while clipping his finger nails.
· Follow the company policy on gift giving. No exceptions.
· Never pass along a gift that someone else gave to you. The recipient always knows. It’s like reading a newspaper someone else already read. The exception is fruit cakes, which are like chain letters.
· If there are year-end Christmas cash bonuses expected, there are no substitutes in the form of gifts. A check is always better than a frozen turkey. If there is no check, no need to bother with the turkey.
Of course, there are variations on all of these themes. For example, if you are a hedge fund manager about to make twenty million at the end of the year even though the fund lost money, buy a Lamborghini for your right-out-of-school analyst. Most importantly, use the potential for holiday gift giving to develop friends and improve your relationships at work. It makes work more fun and maybe you’ll even get a raise out of it.
Fifth in the Series
Published by Rich Moran on Tagged UncategorizedOn Getting Ahead, Getting a Job and/or Getting Funded
Advice Too Simple Not to Know
Sell. Even Though You Think You Can’t or that You Don’t Need To
I have over heard real estate agents being asked, “Are you still selling real estate?” I have overheard life insurance agents being asked, “Are you still selling life insurance?” I, too, have asked a Procter and Gamble management trainee, “Have you grown tired of selling Pringles?”
No one asks a brain surgeon, “Are you still a brain surgeon?” No one asks a management consultant, “Are you still consulting?” I have learned the lesson that to those who choose careers in real estate or life insurance or any profession, “Are you still…?” It is insulting and implies that they could do better if they only tried.
As I have thought about it though, the question “Are you still…?” is almost always asked of those in some sort of sales role. As in, sales is the dirty part of the job and try to do something that doesn’t involve sales. Wake up, because sales is a part of every career that I know of and it is not something to run away from. Developing sales skills will make you more successful, regardless of your career.
Every entrepreneur, no matter how geeky, no matter how technical will have to sell their idea in order to raise money. Every candidate for every job will have to sell skills and potential to get hired. I cannot think of any role in any profession that does not require sales skills. In consulting I often heard, “I don’t want to become a Partner because I don’t want to sell.” Come on, no matter the level, there is selling so get with the program and learn how to sell and sell well.
Are you in the services business? Are you a CEO? Are you a dog catcher? Are you raising money? Are you sitting next to someone on an airplane who can hire you? Are you going into graduate school? Are you a novelist? Are you trying to convince your daughter not to get that tattoo down there? Are you dealing with a gate agent for that upgrade? You Are Selling.
There are plenty of books out there that will tell you how to sell in 300 pages. The advice will include know your customer, know your product and ask for the sale. All good advice. In typical bulleted fashion, here are a few pearls of wisdom that might help you capture a sale or two.
- Use the phrases, “unabashed self promotion or unabashed sales try”. People know when they are being sold to anyway so be blatant about it. Awkward as that might be, it cuts to the chase and you know an answer one way or the other. Don’t ever be embarrassed about selling.
- If it is something you really, really want to sell, be very, very persistent. I once hired someone just so I would no longer have to deal with their constant barrage of how much they wanted the job. Anyone who wants it that bad, must be pretty goal-driven.
- If what you are selling isn’t selling, sell the next best thing while you have some attention. In other words, if the interviewer is obviously not interested in your analytical ability as demonstrated by checking the blackberry; start selling the hardships you endured while your Dad was in prison. If the venture capitalists are clearly not interested in your business model, make sure you let them know that it is a work in process and you are considering that could lead to bigger profits.
There is no getting around it. We are all selling. We all can be good at selling in our own way. Know what that way is and get better at selling.
Fourth in the Series…
Published by Rich Moran on Tagged UncategorizedOn Getting Ahead, Getting a Job and/or Getting Funded
Advice too Simple Not to Know
Be Billable
When I was a Partner